It has been twenty years since I have darkened the door of a dentist’s office. It’s not that I’m scared, it’s just that I know the moment I cross the threshold large men with masked faces and white coats will swoop down, imprison me in a chair with large, buckled restraints, and use sharp metal implements to cause as much pain as one human can tolerate without losing consciousness. Bearing those very rational fears in mind, do you have any advice for me?
Annmarie F. – Arkansas
Annmarie,
I know just what to recommend in situations such as yours–weaponry. More specifically, a lightsaber. It’s quick. It’s clean. You won’t have to worry about cleaning up your attacks, because it will instantly cauterize the wounds. Then grab one of their white coats and slip back out the front door unnoticed.
On the off chance, however, you go to the dentist’s office and no black ops ensue, I recommend you try sedation dentistry. You’ve been gone a while from professional oral care. While I am sure you’ve been diligent with your personsal oral hygiene over the years, there will be considerable build up of plaque that will need to be removed. This will happen no matter how well or how often you brush your teeth. That first appointment back will take a little longer than a normal check up. It’s possible the hygienist will have to work a little harder than normal. To make that a more comfortable experience, use sedation.
You don’t have to be out cold. There are several different levels of dental sedation. You could do something as simple as nitrous oxide (commonly referred to as laughing gas). This will relax you during the appointment. If however, you prefer to be more deeply sedated, you could try oral conscious sedation or IV sedation. You’ll feel like you’re asleep and dreaming (good dreams of course), but you’ll still be conscious. The level of sedation is up to you.
Good luck!
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